Monday, July 14, 2014

How Infertility Blessed My Life Three Times Over

Infertility was a common topic prayed about during two LifeWay Women events this past weekend in Lubbock, Texas. It started with amazing breakout sessions for women in ministry led by speakers such as Chris Adams, Mary Margaret Collingsworth, Lori Moody, Shirley Moses, Laura Taylor and Sheila West along with worship leader Kaye Hurta.

As if two days of worship, inspiration and wisdom from influential, spiritual, Godly women were not enough, Beth Moore raised the roof at the Texas Tech United Spirit Arena for two more days providing encouragement while saving lives as only God can do at Living Proof Live conferences.

It should be no surprise to realize that each person was intentionally placed in their specific seat with ears to hear the words spoken and receive the sensitive, genuine, prayers specifically prayed over them.

Proverbs 23:12 (NIV)
Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge.

Beth Moore, at one point, walked through the audience to hear testimonies how Jesus had used an influential person or situation to impact their life today. Infertility again surfaced as Beth Moore fell to her knees to pray for the women in the building who are struggling with this painful issue. 

I felt more compelled than ever to share my story that God had written in His Book Of Life for me because I know without a shadow of a doubt my story has and will continue to change lives....just like He intended it to do.

Revelation 3:5 (NIV)
He who overcomes will, like them, be dressed in white.  I will never blot out his name from the book of life, but will acknowledge his name before my Father and his angels.

I remember the day the doctors told me I would never have children.  They actually told me it would be "impossible."  I remember how old I was, sweet sixteen.  I also remember my immediate response, "miracles happen to those who believe."  

I knew even at a young age, my God, my savior, was bigger, greater, than infertility and certainly bigger than the team of specialists delivering the infallible news.  He had a plan, a mighty plan.
I left the specialty hospital that day very confident and more full of faith than ever before. I began praying a specific prayer that night: "Dear Lord, I pray for a blond, blue-eyed girl that looks just like me."  I prayed that same prayer every single night for over fourteen years, never saying it differently, never doubting, never forgetting.  

Then the phone rang....

God delivered my blond, blue-eyed angel, Ashley.

The first Christmas Ashley was in our home, I purchased monogrammed stockings for our family.  I purchased one extra in case God ever "granted" us another blessing; perhaps a boy.  With full faith, I had it monogrammed with the anticipated name. Since Ashley was a toddler when we adopted her, I felt a strong nesting desire from the Holy Spirit to get our first nursery together six weeks before we even got a call about Grant's birth.

Although we kept insisting that we were blessed beyond measure, as always, God's plans are better than imaginable, He knew that we needed one more amazing little bundle.  Just seven months after we brought Grant into our family, we were able to be in the delivery room to watch little Brooke Elizabeth enter the world...and our lives. Her inquisitive eyes told us right away that she was there for a mighty purpose too!

There are many things I remember that may seem odd to some, I don't have the familiar "mommy moments" that many women anticipate most of their lives along with planning their wedding day and other fairy tale visions.

I may not be able to remember feeling my babies leap in my womb but I do remember feeling them leap in my heart.

Luke 1:41-49 (NIV)
When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.  In a loud voice she exclaimed: "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!"
And Mary said:
"My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of   the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me - holy is his name.

I've never experienced morning sickness around the cold bowl of a toilet but I have held a wet rag over my sweet child's forehead as they have each faced the same ill sense of sickness and honestly, I would much rather do that any day.
I can attest to the fact that you do not have to go through pregnancy to have a mother's instinct, a mother's intuition or get "eyes in the back of your head".

I do however know first hand what infertility feels like but I can honestly say I have never once felt that I was robbed or cheated out of something because I didn't get to be pregnant.

He created me in His perfect image as the woman He wanted me to be for the purpose He intended and I couldn't fulfill His purpose until it was time for His will in my life.

Unfortunately, immaturity took over as I tested the waters with long-term boyfriends and actually prayed for my miracle before I was even married.  

Another sign of immaturity was thinking I needed to rush into a marriage to a man that I barely knew who already had a son.  My imagination led me to believe that he was the miracle to my prayer.    

Thank the Lord for wisdom, guidance, forgiveness and grace. Once I let go and let God have complete control, He not only led me to the man He intended for me to spend my life with but that is when He blessed me with the miracle (three times over) that I had faithfully prayed for into my arms.  His timing is perfect.

James 1:4-9(NIV)
Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault,
and it will be given to him.  But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

So I can say there was anxiousness and eagerness but not sadness.  I have experienced sadness: Sadness over issues regarding my children but not because I didn't bear them in my womb.  I can't imagine loving them any more or loving them any differently.

I also experience sadness that I induce upon myself as the fruits of the spirit continue to develop within me. I don't remember a time in my life where I didn't know about the Lord but I now know the difference between knowing about the Lord and craving to intimately know the Lord so that I can have a deep relationship with my creator. That relationship makes me happy and brings a beautiful, bright light on the darkest of days.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)
But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

I want to work for Him now not do His work for Him.  I want to tell others about Him because I trust Him. I have been touched by His work first hand.  The bible has many truths of His works and I have such a desire for others to see and want the same thing. It is my calling.

2Thessalonians 1:11-12 (NIV)
With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith.  We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

I ask that you begin to trust Him by praying and knowing that He has this and all you struggle with under complete control and His plan is better and bigger than yours.  Get to know him by disciplining yourself to study His word.  The word is the instruction guide that people so desperately look for. You will begin to crave it and understand it like never before. Depend on Him and His word more than anyone or anything. 

Be comfortable and confident in knowing that His plan may or may not include pregnancy, it may or may not include infertility treatments, it may or may not include adoption but it WILL be WONDERFUL!!

Mark 4:23-25 (NIV)
If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.  Consider carefully what you hear, he continued.  With the measure you use, it will be measured to you - and even more.  Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.

The more you begin to live according to God's will the more you begin to start seeing how the big picture starts revealing itself.  His plan for you was written long before you were even born.  Therefore, if you are facing these struggles without the strength of Christ I want to tell you there is help.
He can hear you right here, right now. 

Admit your sins, ask for forgiveness and ask Him into your heart and most importantly BELIEVE.  

Romans 10:9 (NIV)
If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

He doesn't expect perfection from this day forward, believe me! He is a loving, forgiving, wonderful, understanding God who is holding a place for you in eternity from this day forward and He has been waiting with anticipation of this very moment.  

~Jennifer Poss Taylor

Jennifer Poss Taylor is an author and speaker who promotes awareness in infertility, and adoption.  She also provides Christian mentoring to those families with special needs.  She has a Bachelor of Science degree in human development and family studies from Texas Tech University.  Jennifer has spoken to parents, educators, physicians, and family life trainers about the only birth defect that is one hundred percent preventable, fetal alcohol syndrome.  She also speaks on the sought after topic, "Don't Let The Diagnosis Hide The Gift"  regarding the hidden gifts of autism.  At the age of sixteen, Jennifer was told she could not have children of her own. The news changed her life, but never challenged her faith.  By sharing personal details in Forfeiting All Sanity; A Mother's Story of Raising A Child With Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, she opened the hearts of families across the   globe raising children with special needs.  In her next book, Faith Above Statistics, Jennifer shares how God is bigger than any diagnosis due out in 2015.  Jennifer's stories are written like a personal letter from a friend to give strength to those who have given up hope.  She lives in Lubbock, Texas with her husband, David, of almost fifteen years and their three children.  They travel and speak together when possible.

For speaking engagements please call: (806)577-2070
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